Monday, 11/6/17, 4:30pm
After teaching for an entire day, I rushed to my 4:30 Dr appointment to have my blood pressure and urine proteins checked. Most of my appointments Matt has been with me, but this appointment was purely an "in and out" monitor Momma and Baby progress. Nothing too eventful. Yet by now, I should know that nothing is ever 'normal' for me. :Smile: So there I'm sitting nervously as the nurse takes my BP- which comes back crazy high- then proceeds to get a 'second opinion' on my urine protein reading. It's never a good sign when you need to call in another person. There I sat- now completely nervous- waiting to hear whether or not I could go home. Matt came to all but 2 appointments with me the entire pregnancy- and it was at that moment I wish he would have been there. I'm sure I wasn't fooling the nurse when she told me (matter of factly) "Girl we're going to go ahead and send you to the Labor & Delivery triage to get checked out". I would like to think I appeared calm, cool, and collected...but inside I was freaking out! I mean- was this "it"? I smiled, said 'okay sounds good' and as I walked to my car I immediately called Matt. He knows me all too well and could read the nerves in my voice as I explained everything to him, trying not to cry. I was scared- like holy moly this was REALLY happening today. Matt (on the other hand) was quite the opposite- I could hear the smiles in his voice as he said "Babe, we may have a baby today!"
6:00pm
I met Matt at Salem Hospital Triage where I was asked to strip, lay down, strapped with heart monitors, blood pressure cuffs, and blood drawn to run tests. After a few hours (in which I casually responded to parent messages, answered emails, and played words games on Matt's phone) we met Dr. Samawi for the first time. First impressions are important, right? Well the moment we met Dr. Samawi I felt totally at ease. He explained things simply and slowly for this overwhelmed preggo woman. Something about him immediately felt kind and knowledgeable. As he was explaining my test results, both Matt and I were nodding along - thinking to ourselves "What should we get for dinner on the way home?" So when he ends his speech with "So I think we're going to admit you tonight." Both Matt and I were shocked back into reality. I remember grabbing Matt's hand, taking a deep nervous breath, and looking at him while we said "Okay let's do this." Yep- we were definitely going to have a baby!
~8:00pm
I was officially admitted and had my very own labor and delivery room all set for Baby DeFran to make their appearance into the world. MacKenzie was our assigned nurse and hooked me up to all sorts of machines immediately. Because my blood pressure was so high, I needed to wear a cuff the entire time so my BP could be taken every 15 minutes. In addition, I had a fetal heart rate monitor strapped to my round belly- which proved to be very annoying since it kept sliding with every little movement I made- which then triggered MacKenzie to have to come in a readjust it regularly. Add to that an uncomfortable IV on my right hand that hindered me from holding anything for a few hours- I was "all set" to start the journey of childbirth. Except...I hadn't had more than an apple since 4pm and nerves were getting the best of me. Luckily Dr. Samawi agreed to let me have a half sandwich and juice before starting the pitocin to induce Baby De.
~9:00pm
Baby DeFran's induction officially began with low doses of pitocin being added to my IV system. I started to have a few more mild contractions- but nothing that stopped me from posting on social media, laughing with Matt, light breathing through, and finally an attempt to sleep. I guess I'd been having minor contractions for about a week- which I just thought was Baby De moving around or the fact I was 39 weeks pregnant! I remember thinking to myself as I lay in bed "If this is what contractions feel like, I can totally handle this!" I have to laugh at myself at this point because I literally had no idea what contractions felt like.
Tuesday, 11/7/17, ~4:00am
As we restlessly tried to catch a few moments of sleep (me on my scratchy hospital bed- I mean really I would have brought all my own sheets if I could have! Thank God Matt remembered to bring my own pillow- heaven!), the pitocin was steadily increased until contractions were a little more noticeable, but nothing worth mentioning on the pain scale yet. MacKenzie and Dr. Samawi came in shortly around 4am and discussed our two options of moving forward. We could 1) Increase the pitocin another ~2ml and hope my body kicked into natural labor since it wasn't responding as fast as they'd hope or 2) manually break my water and "get this whole thing started" the Dr. smiled and said. After a quick check to verify I was 3cm dilated (and confirm baby's head was super low in my pelvis already), they stepped out and let Matt and I absorb our choices. I remember feeling my legs shake with nervousness as I felt myself start to get really scared. Matt assured me we could wait it out and that it was up to me. It's a weird moment to be so scared and fully of jitters but then yell at yourself mentally. (Smile) I told myself "This is going to happen either way- so there's no reason to delay it." It's as if I was mentally psyching myself up for the most exhausting marathon of my life. And with that, Dr. Samawi came in, laughed when he said "Don't expect anything too exciting to happen but hopefully this will get things started." So I took a deep breath, waiting for something like a prick? to feel pain? Honestly I had no clue what to expect. But what I did feel was a gush of water- not a trickle, but an obvious "it's go time". And that was no joke.
Breaking my water brought on the REAL contractions. Again, I have to laugh at what I "thought" were contractions earlier. Because let me tell you- these contractions were brutal. Feeling them build up in my pelvis then explode in pain throughout my stomach was unlike anything I've ever felt before. They came hard and fast for almost 3 hours- with little relief in between. Involuntarily I tensed up and curled forward to try to put pressure on my abdomen to stop the pain. Of course that doesn't help at all! Because Baby De was so low, every time a new contraction came on I had to make sure my hips were open. This meant I was legs sprawled in any way I could get them-aka lots of squats. Matt held my hand, echoed low breaths into my ears, whispered sweet words of encouragement and kept me focused on my breathing. I can still hear him saying "That's a great one Baby. Nice and low- you're amazing." Still brings tears to my eyes even four weeks later. With each contraction, I felt myself getting weaker and my will to not have medication start to dwindle. I remember saying aloud "Matt I don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm so tired, my legs are shaking." And Matt would say "Okay, let's try one more contraction then talk about it" or "Let's try the yoga ball first" And even though I knew what he was doing, my laboring self nodded, took a deep breath, and survived another contraction. I don't think I could even put into words how amazing my husband was during this whole process. Between MacKenzie having to manually hold the fetal monitor on my belly while I squirmed, pushed back, moaned deep whale sounds to help breathe through the pain- Matt never once faltered. He was always looking for new ways to soothe me, encourage positive thoughts, and problem solve. He listened when I needed him to apply pressure on my hips, hold my hand, or simple remind me to try and relax during each painful contraction. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to see the pain tear across myself or how he stayed so calm the entire time. In those moments, I remember thinking to myself "I know he's here with me. I know he feels my pain. I know he won't let me do this alone. I love him so much." Most of the time my eyes were closed as I focused my energy on breathing and getting to that much needed break- but the few times I relaxed all I saw were his steadfast eyes focusing on me.
MacKenzie showed an immense amount of respect to our process and bond. When I started to falter on my decision for an unmedicated birth, Matt said MacKenzie would look at him like "You say when..." I am grateful for her willingness to honor the fact that Matt knew me best and trusted him to know when to make that decision. So we continued to try all the different laboring positions and tools we had learned in our parenting class (Side note: I think EVERY new parent should take some kind of parenting class. I know Matt wasn't super keen on taking one at first, but we both knew we needed tips on how to labor naturally and that's exactly what this class taught us. I firmly believe there is NO way we could have delivered unmedicated without that class.) Everything from the birthing ball (hated that the moment I tried it!), jacuzzi tub, leaning over the bed, lowering the bed, "slow dancing" with Matt, and more. As we moved between laboring positions, Matt and MacKenzie were right by my side listening as a told them where to add pressure and what was working. Truly a team.
6:50am
At this point Matt and MacKenzie knew I needed to rally my spirits to keep productively laboring. I was purely exhausted. My legs were trembling and I felt as if there wasn't an ounce of energy left in me to keep laboring. So MacKenzie called Dr. Samawi in to check my dilation progress. I remember leaning back onto the bed with a sense of relief that I was going to get some help. I mean how dilated could I be? 5cm? 6cm? I felt like I was a long ways from the required 10 cm my birthing books stated. I thought I would have felt disappointed to admit I needed medication, but at this point I felt like I truly had given my all and was ready to ask for assistance. Matt tells me he read MacKenzie's face and knew it was time to deliver. During this entire laboring process I had no concept of time or spacial awareness. Matt has told me how often in between contractions he was messaging our families, our birth photographer, and discussing with MacKenzie. Yep- I was totally clueless.
So imagine my surprise when Dr. Samawi checked me (which by the way is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've experienced), smiled, and joyfully said, "So are you ready to start pushing? Let's have a baby guys!" Instantly the nerves flooded back through my body as the nurses and Dr quickly converted my dark laboring room into a brightly light delivery room complete with spotlights on yours truly's most intimidate areas. (Side note again: it's true when you have a baby that all modesty goes out the window. Even now, I'm like yeah sure here's my boob without a single care. Ha!)
The first big contraction came hard and fast. Dr. Samawi told me to take a deep breath and push- which I did...or I did the best I could for the first go at it. I gritted my teeth and made noises I can't even replicate now as I pushed air through my clenched teeth and gave my first attempt at delivering. Well needless to say, pushing air out during delivery isn't very effective. So the second big contraction Matt helped me keep my air in and really focus on bearing down. Here's where I insert that little moment of pre-labor/delivery worry about poop during delivery. And here's where I say I could have cared less at this point. There you have it- whether I did or didn't (because let's face it that was the least of my worries) I couldn't tell you, except I was focusing on not popping the vein in my forehead while I delivered our baby. With each push, Dr. Samawi counted to 10, asked me take a quick breath, then push two more times. The rhythm and counting helped me to stay focused and trick my brain into knowing relief was coming if I made it to ten each time. Truly a mind game- but it worked beautifully.
After 20 minutes of pushing, our sweet baby boy was welcomed into the world. At 7:10am, Matt and I officially became parents of a healthy, beautiful boy named Logan Allen DeFrancisco. The flood of emotions and relief as he was immediately put into Matt's arms then mine- it's indescribable. Overcome with tears of joy, the nurses quickly cleaned Logan while Matt and I stared at our perfect little man we had created. I feel in love with my husband all over again in those moments. The way he cried happy tears with me- held my hand- and stared in awe at our son. Our son! A baby boy!
Everything else was a blur as the night crew had stayed an extra 20 minutes to finish our delivery and the morning crew joined them to take over. When I finally looked up from Logan, I realized just how many people were in the room with us! But I didn't even care as I cuddled my son.
Childbirth truly is miraculous. We spent 39 weeks building this perfect boy and 12 hours giving every ounce of energy we had before being able to take him safely into our arms. Now starts the lifetime of new moments and memories together. Sweet Baby Logan- welcome to our family. You've made our lives infinitely more amazing. We are so proud to be your Mommy and Daddy. We will love you for ever and ever.
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| Going home as new, tired parents in the rain and cold with Baby Logan |
Sweet baby girl....what a wonderful story of our little Logan's birth! Welcome to the joys of parenting, you two have such a special bond as a couple and now so much love for that beautiful son of yours!! I love you all!
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