We are Pregnant!

3.16.17 (The Very Long and Not so Short Story)

    So I decided it’s important for me to keep a journal/diary of our adventures of Baby DeFran to help remember all these crazy thoughts, emotions, questions, and stories that happen along the way. But first we must begin at the beginning- well that makes sense!

    Matt and I had been seriously talking about wanting a baby for the last two years. And truth be told- Matt was ready an entire year before I finally said “Okay I’m in!” We both knew eventually we wanted to start a family, but I always wanted to be completely emotionally ready for the changes it meant for me. I know that sounds selfish, but that is exactly WHY I waited another whole year. I wanted to be committed to this decision and know that the changes to our lifestyle were for a greater purpose. Fast forward to October 2016. Matt came home from shift one Saturday and I had just had a fantastic workout along with a lot of mental conversations the night before (I do a lot of my craziest and best thinking when he’s on shift). I finally looked him the eye and told him, “Okay. I’m ready. Let’s try having a baby.” I can remember his smile and feel his hug as he wrapped me up and said, “Well alright!” Man I love this guy.

Having NO idea what it felt like to be pregnant and the fact we both agreed to not tell anyone we were trying, the first month we tried I was like “Oh yeah, we made a baby. This was easy.” But honestly...it wasn’t. The first month wasn’t bad when George made his appearance. I mean come on- I wanted to be a rockstar couple that nailed it the first time- but this isn’t exactly fool proof people. But did that stop George being the WORST ever for 2 months in a row? Oh heavens no! Luckily for me BOTH those terrible months ended up being snow days, so this crampy girl got to sit in a ball in yoga pants watching Friends. Win!

However as the months passed, I started to feel defeated. I knew I shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t help but crawl into Matt’s arms and we’d cry a little about another unsuccessful month. He’s such an amazing supporter- not just with this, but with everything in my life. He would call me beautiful and tell me how much he loved me all while holding me or kissing me until I smiled. He’s my rock for sure. Well the whole “not telling anyone” has lasted this long, with the exception of a few select people. The first people who found out we were trying were Kristi and Jessica early in October. Seeing as they are my ‘drinking gals’, they immediately noticed I wasn’t drinking beer at our outings anymore. I can’t lie- like at all. So I fessed up to them and excitedly shared with them our plans. They are so supportive and it felt so good to let someone in. :) Early December (after another disheartening unsuccessful month) I told Tara through text message. She was thrilled to hear too! Having her as a sounding board has been great for me. She gives very real advice and totally understands how much it sucks to have George every month. With the exception of Tommy and Jason asking lots of questions (pretty sure they’re on to us as well), the only other person I told was my amazing coworker Wendi. With our personal professional lives potentially changing in the next year, I felt it was important to keep her informed. I trust her wholeheartedly and (Again) it was this great relief to tell her. It’s funny to reflect on all this because life just goes on around us even though we are trying to make this huge life change!

March 12th- we took our 2nd home pregnancy test. At 1:43 pm it confirmed (what we both already knew) WE WERE PREGNANT! Lots of hugs, smiles, kisses, tears of joy followed as I tried to absorb every moment of this news together. I couldn’t stop hugging Matt we got ready to enjoy dinner out for Jessica’s birthday. It was a beautiful secret we had together the entire night. After our festivities, Matt agreed to take a few “We are pregnant pictures” together. After countless blurry, overly zoomed in, and just outright terrible photos- we finally came away with 3 great ones to tell our story. Man, what an exciting day and to make it more special we found out at 1:43pm- which in old school pager language that we use to use- means “I Love You” (one letter, four letters, three letters). Awwwwwww…….

Jenny McMarthy explained this 4-5 week pregnant feeling “It’s like having a gaping hole in your stomach waiting to be filled”. Ha- poetic isn’t it? But this is how I feel right now. This little weird feeling inside my stomach that nobody knows about and ordinarily would be gas or bloating, but instead is a bunch of cells working together to help build Matt and I the miracle of life.

Must have been too excited to notice my grammar error! :)