Logan Allen DeFrancisco.
One of the best pieces of advice I was given while pregnant was to document the birth story of our sweet little one. It's been almost a month of intense recovering, learning to be parents, and adjusting to this new "normal" for our little family. Yet now I feel emotional prepared to finally sit down and document one of the most intensely beautiful moments in my life.
Monday, 11/6/17, 4:30pm
After teaching for an entire day, I rushed to my 4:30 Dr appointment to have my blood pressure and urine proteins checked. Most of my appointments Matt has been with me, but this appointment was purely an "in and out" monitor Momma and Baby progress. Nothing too eventful. Yet by now, I should know that nothing is ever 'normal' for me. :Smile: So there I'm sitting nervously as the nurse takes my BP- which comes back crazy high- then proceeds to get a 'second opinion' on my urine protein reading. It's never a good sign when you need to call in another person. There I sat- now completely nervous- waiting to hear whether or not I could go home. Matt came to all but 2 appointments with me the entire pregnancy- and it was at that moment I wish he would have been there. I'm sure I wasn't fooling the nurse when she told me (matter of factly) "Girl we're going to go ahead and send you to the Labor & Delivery triage to get checked out". I would like to think I appeared calm, cool, and collected...but inside I was freaking out! I mean- was this "it"? I smiled, said 'okay sounds good' and as I walked to my car I immediately called Matt. He knows me all too well and could read the nerves in my voice as I explained everything to him, trying not to cry. I was scared- like holy moly this was REALLY happening today. Matt (on the other hand) was quite the opposite- I could hear the smiles in his voice as he said "Babe, we may have a baby today!"
6:00pm
I met Matt at Salem Hospital Triage where I was asked to strip, lay down, strapped with heart monitors, blood pressure cuffs, and blood drawn to run tests. After a few hours (in which I casually responded to parent messages, answered emails, and played words games on Matt's phone) we met Dr. Samawi for the first time. First impressions are important, right? Well the moment we met Dr. Samawi I felt totally at ease. He explained things simply and slowly for this overwhelmed preggo woman. Something about him immediately felt kind and knowledgeable. As he was explaining my test results, both Matt and I were nodding along - thinking to ourselves "What should we get for dinner on the way home?" So when he ends his speech with "So I think we're going to admit you tonight." Both Matt and I were shocked back into reality. I remember grabbing Matt's hand, taking a deep nervous breath, and looking at him while we said "Okay let's do this." Yep- we were definitely going to have a baby!
~8:00pm
I was officially admitted and had my very own labor and delivery room all set for Baby DeFran to make their appearance into the world. MacKenzie was our assigned nurse and hooked me up to all sorts of machines immediately. Because my blood pressure was so high, I needed to wear a cuff the entire time so my BP could be taken every 15 minutes. In addition, I had a fetal heart rate monitor strapped to my round belly- which proved to be very annoying since it kept sliding with every little movement I made- which then triggered MacKenzie to have to come in a readjust it regularly. Add to that an uncomfortable IV on my right hand that hindered me from holding anything for a few hours- I was "all set" to start the journey of childbirth. Except...I hadn't had more than an apple since 4pm and nerves were getting the best of me. Luckily Dr. Samawi agreed to let me have a half sandwich and juice before starting the pitocin to induce Baby De.
~9:00pm
Baby DeFran's induction officially began with low doses of pitocin being added to my IV system. I started to have a few more mild contractions- but nothing that stopped me from posting on social media, laughing with Matt, light breathing through, and finally an attempt to sleep. I guess I'd been having minor contractions for about a week- which I just thought was Baby De moving around or the fact I was 39 weeks pregnant! I remember thinking to myself as I lay in bed "If this is what contractions feel like, I can totally handle this!" I have to laugh at myself at this point because I literally had no idea what contractions felt like.
Tuesday, 11/7/17, ~4:00am
As we restlessly tried to catch a few moments of sleep (me on my scratchy hospital bed- I mean really I would have brought all my own sheets if I could have! Thank God Matt remembered to bring my own pillow- heaven!), the pitocin was steadily increased until contractions were a little more noticeable, but nothing worth mentioning on the pain scale yet. MacKenzie and Dr. Samawi came in shortly around 4am and discussed our two options of moving forward. We could 1) Increase the pitocin another ~2ml and hope my body kicked into natural labor since it wasn't responding as fast as they'd hope or 2) manually break my water and "get this whole thing started" the Dr. smiled and said. After a quick check to verify I was 3cm dilated (and confirm baby's head was super low in my pelvis already), they stepped out and let Matt and I absorb our choices. I remember feeling my legs shake with nervousness as I felt myself start to get really scared. Matt assured me we could wait it out and that it was up to me. It's a weird moment to be so scared and fully of jitters but then yell at yourself mentally. (Smile) I told myself "This is going to happen either way- so there's no reason to delay it." It's as if I was mentally psyching myself up for the most exhausting marathon of my life. And with that, Dr. Samawi came in, laughed when he said "Don't expect anything too exciting to happen but hopefully this will get things started." So I took a deep breath, waiting for something like a prick? to feel pain? Honestly I had no clue what to expect. But what I did feel was a gush of water- not a trickle, but an obvious "it's go time". And that was no joke.
Breaking my water brought on the REAL contractions. Again, I have to laugh at what I "thought" were contractions earlier. Because let me tell you- these contractions were brutal. Feeling them build up in my pelvis then explode in pain throughout my stomach was unlike anything I've ever felt before. They came hard and fast for almost 3 hours- with little relief in between. Involuntarily I tensed up and curled forward to try to put pressure on my abdomen to stop the pain. Of course that doesn't help at all! Because Baby De was so low, every time a new contraction came on I had to make sure my hips were open. This meant I was legs sprawled in any way I could get them-aka lots of squats. Matt held my hand, echoed low breaths into my ears, whispered sweet words of encouragement and kept me focused on my breathing. I can still hear him saying "That's a great one Baby. Nice and low- you're amazing." Still brings tears to my eyes even four weeks later. With each contraction, I felt myself getting weaker and my will to not have medication start to dwindle. I remember saying aloud "Matt I don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm so tired, my legs are shaking." And Matt would say "Okay, let's try one more contraction then talk about it" or "Let's try the yoga ball first" And even though I knew what he was doing, my laboring self nodded, took a deep breath, and survived another contraction. I don't think I could even put into words how amazing my husband was during this whole process. Between MacKenzie having to manually hold the fetal monitor on my belly while I squirmed, pushed back, moaned deep whale sounds to help breathe through the pain- Matt never once faltered. He was always looking for new ways to soothe me, encourage positive thoughts, and problem solve. He listened when I needed him to apply pressure on my hips, hold my hand, or simple remind me to try and relax during each painful contraction. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to see the pain tear across myself or how he stayed so calm the entire time. In those moments, I remember thinking to myself "I know he's here with me. I know he feels my pain. I know he won't let me do this alone. I love him so much." Most of the time my eyes were closed as I focused my energy on breathing and getting to that much needed break- but the few times I relaxed all I saw were his steadfast eyes focusing on me.
MacKenzie showed an immense amount of respect to our process and bond. When I started to falter on my decision for an unmedicated birth, Matt said MacKenzie would look at him like "You say when..." I am grateful for her willingness to honor the fact that Matt knew me best and trusted him to know when to make that decision. So we continued to try all the different laboring positions and tools we had learned in our parenting class (Side note: I think EVERY new parent should take some kind of parenting class. I know Matt wasn't super keen on taking one at first, but we both knew we needed tips on how to labor naturally and that's exactly what this class taught us. I firmly believe there is NO way we could have delivered unmedicated without that class.) Everything from the birthing ball (hated that the moment I tried it!), jacuzzi tub, leaning over the bed, lowering the bed, "slow dancing" with Matt, and more. As we moved between laboring positions, Matt and MacKenzie were right by my side listening as a told them where to add pressure and what was working. Truly a team.
6:50am
At this point Matt and MacKenzie knew I needed to rally my spirits to keep productively laboring. I was purely exhausted. My legs were trembling and I felt as if there wasn't an ounce of energy left in me to keep laboring. So MacKenzie called Dr. Samawi in to check my dilation progress. I remember leaning back onto the bed with a sense of relief that I was going to get some help. I mean how dilated could I be? 5cm? 6cm? I felt like I was a long ways from the required 10 cm my birthing books stated. I thought I would have felt disappointed to admit I needed medication, but at this point I felt like I truly had given my all and was ready to ask for assistance. Matt tells me he read MacKenzie's face and knew it was time to deliver. During this entire laboring process I had no concept of time or spacial awareness. Matt has told me how often in between contractions he was messaging our families, our birth photographer, and discussing with MacKenzie. Yep- I was totally clueless.
So imagine my surprise when Dr. Samawi checked me (which by the way is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've experienced), smiled, and joyfully said, "So are you ready to start pushing? Let's have a baby guys!" Instantly the nerves flooded back through my body as the nurses and Dr quickly converted my dark laboring room into a brightly light delivery room complete with spotlights on yours truly's most intimidate areas. (Side note again: it's true when you have a baby that all modesty goes out the window. Even now, I'm like yeah sure here's my boob without a single care. Ha!)
The first big contraction came hard and fast. Dr. Samawi told me to take a deep breath and push- which I did...or I did the best I could for the first go at it. I gritted my teeth and made noises I can't even replicate now as I pushed air through my clenched teeth and gave my first attempt at delivering. Well needless to say, pushing air out during delivery isn't very effective. So the second big contraction Matt helped me keep my air in and really focus on bearing down. Here's where I insert that little moment of pre-labor/delivery worry about poop during delivery. And here's where I say I could have cared less at this point. There you have it- whether I did or didn't (because let's face it that was the least of my worries) I couldn't tell you, except I was focusing on not popping the vein in my forehead while I delivered our baby. With each push, Dr. Samawi counted to 10, asked me take a quick breath, then push two more times. The rhythm and counting helped me to stay focused and trick my brain into knowing relief was coming if I made it to ten each time. Truly a mind game- but it worked beautifully.
After 20 minutes of pushing, our sweet baby boy was welcomed into the world. At 7:10am, Matt and I officially became parents of a healthy, beautiful boy named Logan Allen DeFrancisco. The flood of emotions and relief as he was immediately put into Matt's arms then mine- it's indescribable. Overcome with tears of joy, the nurses quickly cleaned Logan while Matt and I stared at our perfect little man we had created. I feel in love with my husband all over again in those moments. The way he cried happy tears with me- held my hand- and stared in awe at our son. Our son! A baby boy!
Everything else was a blur as the night crew had stayed an extra 20 minutes to finish our delivery and the morning crew joined them to take over. When I finally looked up from Logan, I realized just how many people were in the room with us! But I didn't even care as I cuddled my son.
Childbirth truly is miraculous. We spent 39 weeks building this perfect boy and 12 hours giving every ounce of energy we had before being able to take him safely into our arms. Now starts the lifetime of new moments and memories together. Sweet Baby Logan- welcome to our family. You've made our lives infinitely more amazing. We are so proud to be your Mommy and Daddy. We will love you for ever and ever.
Monday, 11/6/17, 4:30pm
After teaching for an entire day, I rushed to my 4:30 Dr appointment to have my blood pressure and urine proteins checked. Most of my appointments Matt has been with me, but this appointment was purely an "in and out" monitor Momma and Baby progress. Nothing too eventful. Yet by now, I should know that nothing is ever 'normal' for me. :Smile: So there I'm sitting nervously as the nurse takes my BP- which comes back crazy high- then proceeds to get a 'second opinion' on my urine protein reading. It's never a good sign when you need to call in another person. There I sat- now completely nervous- waiting to hear whether or not I could go home. Matt came to all but 2 appointments with me the entire pregnancy- and it was at that moment I wish he would have been there. I'm sure I wasn't fooling the nurse when she told me (matter of factly) "Girl we're going to go ahead and send you to the Labor & Delivery triage to get checked out". I would like to think I appeared calm, cool, and collected...but inside I was freaking out! I mean- was this "it"? I smiled, said 'okay sounds good' and as I walked to my car I immediately called Matt. He knows me all too well and could read the nerves in my voice as I explained everything to him, trying not to cry. I was scared- like holy moly this was REALLY happening today. Matt (on the other hand) was quite the opposite- I could hear the smiles in his voice as he said "Babe, we may have a baby today!"
6:00pm
I met Matt at Salem Hospital Triage where I was asked to strip, lay down, strapped with heart monitors, blood pressure cuffs, and blood drawn to run tests. After a few hours (in which I casually responded to parent messages, answered emails, and played words games on Matt's phone) we met Dr. Samawi for the first time. First impressions are important, right? Well the moment we met Dr. Samawi I felt totally at ease. He explained things simply and slowly for this overwhelmed preggo woman. Something about him immediately felt kind and knowledgeable. As he was explaining my test results, both Matt and I were nodding along - thinking to ourselves "What should we get for dinner on the way home?" So when he ends his speech with "So I think we're going to admit you tonight." Both Matt and I were shocked back into reality. I remember grabbing Matt's hand, taking a deep nervous breath, and looking at him while we said "Okay let's do this." Yep- we were definitely going to have a baby!
~8:00pm
I was officially admitted and had my very own labor and delivery room all set for Baby DeFran to make their appearance into the world. MacKenzie was our assigned nurse and hooked me up to all sorts of machines immediately. Because my blood pressure was so high, I needed to wear a cuff the entire time so my BP could be taken every 15 minutes. In addition, I had a fetal heart rate monitor strapped to my round belly- which proved to be very annoying since it kept sliding with every little movement I made- which then triggered MacKenzie to have to come in a readjust it regularly. Add to that an uncomfortable IV on my right hand that hindered me from holding anything for a few hours- I was "all set" to start the journey of childbirth. Except...I hadn't had more than an apple since 4pm and nerves were getting the best of me. Luckily Dr. Samawi agreed to let me have a half sandwich and juice before starting the pitocin to induce Baby De.
~9:00pm
Baby DeFran's induction officially began with low doses of pitocin being added to my IV system. I started to have a few more mild contractions- but nothing that stopped me from posting on social media, laughing with Matt, light breathing through, and finally an attempt to sleep. I guess I'd been having minor contractions for about a week- which I just thought was Baby De moving around or the fact I was 39 weeks pregnant! I remember thinking to myself as I lay in bed "If this is what contractions feel like, I can totally handle this!" I have to laugh at myself at this point because I literally had no idea what contractions felt like.
Tuesday, 11/7/17, ~4:00am
As we restlessly tried to catch a few moments of sleep (me on my scratchy hospital bed- I mean really I would have brought all my own sheets if I could have! Thank God Matt remembered to bring my own pillow- heaven!), the pitocin was steadily increased until contractions were a little more noticeable, but nothing worth mentioning on the pain scale yet. MacKenzie and Dr. Samawi came in shortly around 4am and discussed our two options of moving forward. We could 1) Increase the pitocin another ~2ml and hope my body kicked into natural labor since it wasn't responding as fast as they'd hope or 2) manually break my water and "get this whole thing started" the Dr. smiled and said. After a quick check to verify I was 3cm dilated (and confirm baby's head was super low in my pelvis already), they stepped out and let Matt and I absorb our choices. I remember feeling my legs shake with nervousness as I felt myself start to get really scared. Matt assured me we could wait it out and that it was up to me. It's a weird moment to be so scared and fully of jitters but then yell at yourself mentally. (Smile) I told myself "This is going to happen either way- so there's no reason to delay it." It's as if I was mentally psyching myself up for the most exhausting marathon of my life. And with that, Dr. Samawi came in, laughed when he said "Don't expect anything too exciting to happen but hopefully this will get things started." So I took a deep breath, waiting for something like a prick? to feel pain? Honestly I had no clue what to expect. But what I did feel was a gush of water- not a trickle, but an obvious "it's go time". And that was no joke.
Breaking my water brought on the REAL contractions. Again, I have to laugh at what I "thought" were contractions earlier. Because let me tell you- these contractions were brutal. Feeling them build up in my pelvis then explode in pain throughout my stomach was unlike anything I've ever felt before. They came hard and fast for almost 3 hours- with little relief in between. Involuntarily I tensed up and curled forward to try to put pressure on my abdomen to stop the pain. Of course that doesn't help at all! Because Baby De was so low, every time a new contraction came on I had to make sure my hips were open. This meant I was legs sprawled in any way I could get them-aka lots of squats. Matt held my hand, echoed low breaths into my ears, whispered sweet words of encouragement and kept me focused on my breathing. I can still hear him saying "That's a great one Baby. Nice and low- you're amazing." Still brings tears to my eyes even four weeks later. With each contraction, I felt myself getting weaker and my will to not have medication start to dwindle. I remember saying aloud "Matt I don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm so tired, my legs are shaking." And Matt would say "Okay, let's try one more contraction then talk about it" or "Let's try the yoga ball first" And even though I knew what he was doing, my laboring self nodded, took a deep breath, and survived another contraction. I don't think I could even put into words how amazing my husband was during this whole process. Between MacKenzie having to manually hold the fetal monitor on my belly while I squirmed, pushed back, moaned deep whale sounds to help breathe through the pain- Matt never once faltered. He was always looking for new ways to soothe me, encourage positive thoughts, and problem solve. He listened when I needed him to apply pressure on my hips, hold my hand, or simple remind me to try and relax during each painful contraction. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to see the pain tear across myself or how he stayed so calm the entire time. In those moments, I remember thinking to myself "I know he's here with me. I know he feels my pain. I know he won't let me do this alone. I love him so much." Most of the time my eyes were closed as I focused my energy on breathing and getting to that much needed break- but the few times I relaxed all I saw were his steadfast eyes focusing on me.
MacKenzie showed an immense amount of respect to our process and bond. When I started to falter on my decision for an unmedicated birth, Matt said MacKenzie would look at him like "You say when..." I am grateful for her willingness to honor the fact that Matt knew me best and trusted him to know when to make that decision. So we continued to try all the different laboring positions and tools we had learned in our parenting class (Side note: I think EVERY new parent should take some kind of parenting class. I know Matt wasn't super keen on taking one at first, but we both knew we needed tips on how to labor naturally and that's exactly what this class taught us. I firmly believe there is NO way we could have delivered unmedicated without that class.) Everything from the birthing ball (hated that the moment I tried it!), jacuzzi tub, leaning over the bed, lowering the bed, "slow dancing" with Matt, and more. As we moved between laboring positions, Matt and MacKenzie were right by my side listening as a told them where to add pressure and what was working. Truly a team.
6:50am
At this point Matt and MacKenzie knew I needed to rally my spirits to keep productively laboring. I was purely exhausted. My legs were trembling and I felt as if there wasn't an ounce of energy left in me to keep laboring. So MacKenzie called Dr. Samawi in to check my dilation progress. I remember leaning back onto the bed with a sense of relief that I was going to get some help. I mean how dilated could I be? 5cm? 6cm? I felt like I was a long ways from the required 10 cm my birthing books stated. I thought I would have felt disappointed to admit I needed medication, but at this point I felt like I truly had given my all and was ready to ask for assistance. Matt tells me he read MacKenzie's face and knew it was time to deliver. During this entire laboring process I had no concept of time or spacial awareness. Matt has told me how often in between contractions he was messaging our families, our birth photographer, and discussing with MacKenzie. Yep- I was totally clueless.
So imagine my surprise when Dr. Samawi checked me (which by the way is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've experienced), smiled, and joyfully said, "So are you ready to start pushing? Let's have a baby guys!" Instantly the nerves flooded back through my body as the nurses and Dr quickly converted my dark laboring room into a brightly light delivery room complete with spotlights on yours truly's most intimidate areas. (Side note again: it's true when you have a baby that all modesty goes out the window. Even now, I'm like yeah sure here's my boob without a single care. Ha!)
The first big contraction came hard and fast. Dr. Samawi told me to take a deep breath and push- which I did...or I did the best I could for the first go at it. I gritted my teeth and made noises I can't even replicate now as I pushed air through my clenched teeth and gave my first attempt at delivering. Well needless to say, pushing air out during delivery isn't very effective. So the second big contraction Matt helped me keep my air in and really focus on bearing down. Here's where I insert that little moment of pre-labor/delivery worry about poop during delivery. And here's where I say I could have cared less at this point. There you have it- whether I did or didn't (because let's face it that was the least of my worries) I couldn't tell you, except I was focusing on not popping the vein in my forehead while I delivered our baby. With each push, Dr. Samawi counted to 10, asked me take a quick breath, then push two more times. The rhythm and counting helped me to stay focused and trick my brain into knowing relief was coming if I made it to ten each time. Truly a mind game- but it worked beautifully.
After 20 minutes of pushing, our sweet baby boy was welcomed into the world. At 7:10am, Matt and I officially became parents of a healthy, beautiful boy named Logan Allen DeFrancisco. The flood of emotions and relief as he was immediately put into Matt's arms then mine- it's indescribable. Overcome with tears of joy, the nurses quickly cleaned Logan while Matt and I stared at our perfect little man we had created. I feel in love with my husband all over again in those moments. The way he cried happy tears with me- held my hand- and stared in awe at our son. Our son! A baby boy!
Everything else was a blur as the night crew had stayed an extra 20 minutes to finish our delivery and the morning crew joined them to take over. When I finally looked up from Logan, I realized just how many people were in the room with us! But I didn't even care as I cuddled my son.
Childbirth truly is miraculous. We spent 39 weeks building this perfect boy and 12 hours giving every ounce of energy we had before being able to take him safely into our arms. Now starts the lifetime of new moments and memories together. Sweet Baby Logan- welcome to our family. You've made our lives infinitely more amazing. We are so proud to be your Mommy and Daddy. We will love you for ever and ever.
 |
| Going home as new, tired parents in the rain and cold with Baby Logan |
5 Days from Now.
5 days from now Baby De's official "due date" will be upon us. November 10th seemed so far in the distance when we started this adventure way back in February- it's exciting (and hard to believe) just how fast time flies. I know as a kid adults use to say "Time goes faster when you're older" and like every teenager- I just rolled my eyes and thought Uh-huh, yeah right. But sitting here at 32 years old and 39 & 3 days pregnant- I totally take back all those eye rolls! I'm grateful I've tried to document this journey the past 10 months on this blog because I know how important it will be for me to reflect on everything Matt and I did to prepare for our sweet baby. To be parents. To grow our family.
Although our Dr. thought we may be early- our pumpkin is still snuggled inside me. I've had 1-2 contractions each day, but nothing of conquest to indicate labor. Based on the PMS type cramps, lower back aches, and tightness I had Friday that Baby De for sure would be starting labor this weekend. And all my sweet friends and family have been checking in on me...alas Baby De was just psyching this Mama out. :Smile: I had guessed Nov. 4th, but that date has come and gone. And to be honest- I'm glad Baby didn't come this weekend. It's given me a chance to rest and sleep off the nasty cold I was developing this week. I cried more this week than I have this entire pregnancy- and it was purely out of frustration at being sick. Yet Matt always knows what to say and how to take care of me when I'm feeling that way- and I'm grateful to say I'm feeling great and back to normal.
Speaking of that amazing husband of mine- seriously I hit the husband jackpot (stole this line from a friend of ours :smile:) with Matt. The past week he has been checking my blood pressure, grocery shopping, making dinner, taking walks with Harper and I, reminding me to sit down...then telling me to sit down. He's been nothing but positive and supportive with tons of kisses and hugs while reminding me how amazing and beautiful I am. Lucky girl to have him. Lucky Baby to have him as well.
As for school, well I have ~4 more days before my long-term sub starts her contract. Honestly I have no idea if I'll be early, late, or something in between during the next 5 days. It was so sweet on Thursday when one of my girls gave me a hug goodbye and said "I have to hug you because I don't know if I'll see you again soon!" (melts heart) I guess all I can say is: Baby De, we want you to be healthy and ready. Mom and Dad (still getting use to that!) are over the moon excited to meet you soon! Not to mention the many other amazing family and friends who have already called 'dibs' on snuggling and babysitting you. So whether it's tomorrow or next week- we love you!
Although our Dr. thought we may be early- our pumpkin is still snuggled inside me. I've had 1-2 contractions each day, but nothing of conquest to indicate labor. Based on the PMS type cramps, lower back aches, and tightness I had Friday that Baby De for sure would be starting labor this weekend. And all my sweet friends and family have been checking in on me...alas Baby De was just psyching this Mama out. :Smile: I had guessed Nov. 4th, but that date has come and gone. And to be honest- I'm glad Baby didn't come this weekend. It's given me a chance to rest and sleep off the nasty cold I was developing this week. I cried more this week than I have this entire pregnancy- and it was purely out of frustration at being sick. Yet Matt always knows what to say and how to take care of me when I'm feeling that way- and I'm grateful to say I'm feeling great and back to normal.
Speaking of that amazing husband of mine- seriously I hit the husband jackpot (stole this line from a friend of ours :smile:) with Matt. The past week he has been checking my blood pressure, grocery shopping, making dinner, taking walks with Harper and I, reminding me to sit down...then telling me to sit down. He's been nothing but positive and supportive with tons of kisses and hugs while reminding me how amazing and beautiful I am. Lucky girl to have him. Lucky Baby to have him as well.
As for school, well I have ~4 more days before my long-term sub starts her contract. Honestly I have no idea if I'll be early, late, or something in between during the next 5 days. It was so sweet on Thursday when one of my girls gave me a hug goodbye and said "I have to hug you because I don't know if I'll see you again soon!" (melts heart) I guess all I can say is: Baby De, we want you to be healthy and ready. Mom and Dad (still getting use to that!) are over the moon excited to meet you soon! Not to mention the many other amazing family and friends who have already called 'dibs' on snuggling and babysitting you. So whether it's tomorrow or next week- we love you!
38 Weeks & Feeling Pregnant
On a REAL pregnancy note... the last 48 hours have REALLY shown me what pregnancy feels like. I've been so lucky to have an easy 9 months that it seems fitting I'll spend my last few weeks piling on the 'normal' preggo symptoms. What might you ask have blessed my already overly stressed body? Well how about cankles for the first time ever?! Like literally I have no ankles! I must keep in mind that I do have a job that I rarely sit down during the day- but come on Baby! Another glorious pregnancy symptom? Running out of breath- like often. My working out has drastically diminished due to this fact. Yes I still take walks 1-2 times a week and light a few weights- but I'm so dang exhausted it doesn't happen. (Insert here the "it's okay you need to rest" advice I have been getting for some weeks now- I just don't know HOW to rest) Last night Matt literally ordered me to sit on the couch and put my feet up as he wonderfully made dinner, did the dishes, and let me rest....and grade science papers. :Smile: Finally, the last symptom is water weight gain. We had our check up on Wednesday and I was shocked at the amount on the scale. My Dr. even said "You look a lot more swollen than usual". She didn't expressly say "Hey Preggo, slow down the pounds..." but it's messed with my mind every since then! It's expected- and I still have healthy BP and everything...but man. Even with a decent diet the past 9.5 months and exercise- growing a baby really packs on some poundage.
Although I'm dilated ~1.5 cm (which is slow progress, but progress nonetheless), our Dr. thinks due to how thin my cervix already is that when labor does begin it may happen faster than expected. She also still believes we'll be early...yet it's all speculation until the contractions become a reality. Which aren't happening too often at the moment. So for now my sweet, big ol' belly and I will just keep trying to rest, giving our cankles a break while we wait for Baby De to come.
Who knows...maybe this will be my last post before we have a Baby...a Baby!!
9 Months.
Matt and I are officially on our 'week by week' ObGyn appointments now. Last Friday we went in and did all our routine checks (BP, heart rate, weight, etc) and Baby seems to be checking out amazingly. However this time Dr. Blanchard asked if it was alright if she 'check me' just to see how everything down under is doing. Umm...sure! Well she smiled and said "I doubt you make it to 40 weeks because you're already 1 cm dilated and starting to efface." Matt and I looked at one another in giddy shock- things were starting already! Now all this new information could mean 1) Baby maybe be earlier than Nov 10th (Dr. Blanchard laughed and said 'I bet 38 1/2 weeks') or 2) Baby will do whatever it wants...it's probably more the latter, right? Either way we were all pretty excited.
Another nugget of news was the fact that our Dr. doesn't even know the gender of the baby! This whole time we've assumed she also know, but truth be told, the only people who know are the ultrasound tech and the ultrasound Dr who reads our chart. Everywhere else on our file it simple says "Gender a surprise". How cool is that?!
Needless to say, after this appointment the "Oh I better get serious about packing a hospital bag" nesting kicked in. This weekend I officially packed mine and the baby's hospital bags. We have a few things we need to add, but I'm feeling much more ready. My bag will stay in the car and drive to and from work with me because...well.. you never know. Sweet little Baby De- although I'd like you to stay put until Nov 10th- if you're health and ready...Mom and Dad will be too. We love you.
The picture below is my one and only 'naked belly' photo I've posted. I took it for many reasons, but the most important was to remind me how amazing this experience has been. My body has been growing this sweet, little human for the past 36 weeks. This picture serves a reminder that as I enter the last few precious weeks we have together (like this) to treasure each small moment. A reminder that pains will come, breathing will be difficult (I can't walk and chew gum anymore!), and yes sleep will continue to decline- that You, sweet little one, are totally and completely worth it. You will bring so much joy into our lives and you're already SO loved by many more.
This photo also reminds me how hard I've worked to prepare to be a Mom the past 9 months. Yes I've indulged and skipped workouts, but I'm REALLY proud of the fact I feel and look great. No stretch marks, swollen hands, or other big pregnancy issues. Yes there are occasional leg cramps, general tiredness some days, and never feeling full...ever. But when I look at this picture I see a strong woman who is lucky to have an amazingly supportive husband to help me get to this place. Matt, I am so excited to be a parent with you.
Another nugget of news was the fact that our Dr. doesn't even know the gender of the baby! This whole time we've assumed she also know, but truth be told, the only people who know are the ultrasound tech and the ultrasound Dr who reads our chart. Everywhere else on our file it simple says "Gender a surprise". How cool is that?!
Needless to say, after this appointment the "Oh I better get serious about packing a hospital bag" nesting kicked in. This weekend I officially packed mine and the baby's hospital bags. We have a few things we need to add, but I'm feeling much more ready. My bag will stay in the car and drive to and from work with me because...well.. you never know. Sweet little Baby De- although I'd like you to stay put until Nov 10th- if you're health and ready...Mom and Dad will be too. We love you.
The picture below is my one and only 'naked belly' photo I've posted. I took it for many reasons, but the most important was to remind me how amazing this experience has been. My body has been growing this sweet, little human for the past 36 weeks. This picture serves a reminder that as I enter the last few precious weeks we have together (like this) to treasure each small moment. A reminder that pains will come, breathing will be difficult (I can't walk and chew gum anymore!), and yes sleep will continue to decline- that You, sweet little one, are totally and completely worth it. You will bring so much joy into our lives and you're already SO loved by many more.
This photo also reminds me how hard I've worked to prepare to be a Mom the past 9 months. Yes I've indulged and skipped workouts, but I'm REALLY proud of the fact I feel and look great. No stretch marks, swollen hands, or other big pregnancy issues. Yes there are occasional leg cramps, general tiredness some days, and never feeling full...ever. But when I look at this picture I see a strong woman who is lucky to have an amazingly supportive husband to help me get to this place. Matt, I am so excited to be a parent with you.
Keizer Staff Spoiling Baby De.
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| Look at that belly! |
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| Delicious bundt cupcakes + diaper cake! |
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| My amazing team. |
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| Lisa Rhoades was a beautiful surprise visitor! |
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| Kristi- my amazing "I want to be JUST like her as a Mom" BFF |
Keizer
Staff- Baby De and I simply cannot express our gratitude enough for the
showering of gifts, laughs, and wonderful advice. It's a humbling and
blessed feeling to be surrounded by such an incredible group of people.
Thank you to each and every one. Your kindness is appreciated more than
you know. We can't wait to welcome Baby De soon!
Grieving.
Losing people you love is never an easy reality to cope with. This week we lost a very special woman in our lives. It all started Tuesday after a busy day at school filled with generous coworker's gift at our last Baby Shower. I came home to a delicious dinner made by Matt and as we shared our day- everything felt right in the world.
However that evening his dad called to tell us Grandma Blevins had died, unexpectedly. Shock and disbelief are the only ways to describe how we both felt as tears crashed on our faces. Matt's grandma. Gone. Just like that. So as we sat there holding one another- we cried. We cried for the pain his mom felt as she witnessed it. We cried for holidays we wouldn't spend together. We cried knowing she and Grandpa would never meet their precious great-grandchild of ours. We cried for anger to have her taken away. We cried because we couldn't understand how. We cried.
Death is inevitable. It's my biggest fear- and most of the time it makes no sense. It's such an abstract, raw emotion that each of us deals with so differently. 4 days later I still find myself tearing in up the car thinking about the amazing woman who I am blessed to have known. From the moment I met Grandma Blevins, she radiated love, support, and the most amazing sense of humor. Last night we lost this beautiful woman who filled our lives each and every visit (no matter how long she "let" us stay- ha!) Matt always spoke about his Grandma with such compassion and enthusiasm- I felt honored to be embraced by her each visit. Grandma knew just what stories to tell (usually about Matt's childhood energy!), questions to ask, and how to fill an evening with good company and cocktails. Our hearts break, but there's peace knowing you're with Grandpa now. You will be missed more than you know. We love you Grandma. Cheers to crossword puzzles, morning coffee, and evening cocktails in Heaven together with Grandpa.
However that evening his dad called to tell us Grandma Blevins had died, unexpectedly. Shock and disbelief are the only ways to describe how we both felt as tears crashed on our faces. Matt's grandma. Gone. Just like that. So as we sat there holding one another- we cried. We cried for the pain his mom felt as she witnessed it. We cried for holidays we wouldn't spend together. We cried knowing she and Grandpa would never meet their precious great-grandchild of ours. We cried for anger to have her taken away. We cried because we couldn't understand how. We cried.
Death is inevitable. It's my biggest fear- and most of the time it makes no sense. It's such an abstract, raw emotion that each of us deals with so differently. 4 days later I still find myself tearing in up the car thinking about the amazing woman who I am blessed to have known. From the moment I met Grandma Blevins, she radiated love, support, and the most amazing sense of humor. Last night we lost this beautiful woman who filled our lives each and every visit (no matter how long she "let" us stay- ha!) Matt always spoke about his Grandma with such compassion and enthusiasm- I felt honored to be embraced by her each visit. Grandma knew just what stories to tell (usually about Matt's childhood energy!), questions to ask, and how to fill an evening with good company and cocktails. Our hearts break, but there's peace knowing you're with Grandpa now. You will be missed more than you know. We love you Grandma. Cheers to crossword puzzles, morning coffee, and evening cocktails in Heaven together with Grandpa.
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