38 Weeks & Feeling Pregnant

It's an odd feeling...all the "not knowing yet being overly prepared". I mean, my brain totally knows this little munchkin is going to put me into labor sooner rather than later. And honestly I'm not worried about labor at all- sure it's going to be hard and hurt like hell- but that makes sense! But the rest of me is in a bit of denial about how big this will change everything for us. Which sounds weird (or looks because clearly I'm typing)- yet I'm more thinking about how it changes everything for me for school. Like every year I enjoy a wonderful detox away from school but once I'm back in... well I'm 200% back in. And this year with Baby De's arrival, I'm even more focused on being prepared. I've prepped lesson plans for two weeks (Starting next week, just in case!), have my maternity binder all set up, discussed with my kiddos, and most of all consoling my team. Ha!

On a REAL pregnancy note... the last 48 hours have REALLY shown me what pregnancy feels like. I've been so lucky to have an easy 9 months that it seems fitting I'll spend my last few weeks piling on the 'normal' preggo symptoms. What might you ask have blessed my already overly stressed body? Well how about cankles for the first time ever?! Like literally I have no ankles! I must keep in mind that I do have a job that I rarely sit down during the day- but come on Baby! Another glorious pregnancy symptom? Running out of breath- like often. My working out has drastically diminished due to this fact. Yes I still take walks 1-2 times a week and light a few weights- but I'm so dang exhausted it doesn't happen. (Insert here the "it's okay you need to rest" advice I have been getting for some weeks now- I just don't know HOW to rest) Last night Matt literally ordered me to sit on the couch and put my feet up as he wonderfully made dinner, did the dishes, and let me rest....and grade science papers. :Smile: Finally, the last symptom is water weight gain. We had our check up on Wednesday and I was shocked at the amount on the scale. My Dr. even said "You look a lot more swollen than usual". She didn't expressly say "Hey Preggo, slow down the pounds..." but it's messed with my mind every since then! It's expected- and I still have healthy BP and everything...but man. Even with a decent diet the past 9.5 months and exercise- growing a baby really packs on some poundage.

Although I'm dilated ~1.5 cm (which is slow progress, but progress nonetheless), our Dr. thinks due to how thin my cervix already is that when labor does begin it may happen faster than expected. She also still believes we'll be early...yet it's all speculation until the contractions become a reality. Which aren't happening too often at the moment. So for now my sweet, big ol' belly and I will just keep trying to rest, giving our cankles a break while we wait for Baby De to come.

Who knows...maybe this will be my last post before we have a Baby...a Baby!!

9 Months.

Matt and I are officially on our 'week by week' ObGyn appointments now. Last Friday we went in and did all our routine checks (BP, heart rate, weight, etc) and Baby seems to be checking out amazingly. However this time Dr. Blanchard asked if it was alright if she 'check me' just to see how everything down under is doing. Umm...sure! Well she smiled and said "I doubt you make it to 40 weeks because you're already 1 cm dilated and starting to efface." Matt and I looked at one another in giddy shock- things were starting already! Now all this new information could mean 1) Baby maybe be earlier than Nov 10th (Dr. Blanchard laughed and said 'I bet 38 1/2 weeks') or 2) Baby will do whatever it wants...it's probably more the latter, right? Either way we were all pretty excited.

Another nugget of news was the fact that our Dr. doesn't even know the gender of the baby! This whole time we've assumed she also know, but truth be told, the only people who know are the ultrasound tech and the ultrasound Dr who reads our chart. Everywhere else on our file it simple says "Gender a surprise". How cool is that?!

Needless to say, after this appointment the "Oh I better get serious about packing a hospital bag" nesting kicked in. This weekend I officially packed mine and the baby's hospital bags. We have a few things we need to add, but I'm feeling much more ready. My bag will stay in the car and drive to and from work with me because...well.. you never know. Sweet little Baby De- although I'd like you to stay put until Nov 10th- if you're health and ready...Mom and Dad will be too. We love you.

The picture below is my one and only 'naked belly' photo I've posted. I took it for many reasons, but the most important was to remind me how amazing this experience has been. My body has been growing this sweet, little human for the past 36 weeks. This picture serves a reminder that as I enter the last few precious weeks we have together (like this) to treasure each small moment. A reminder that pains will come, breathing will be difficult (I can't walk and chew gum anymore!), and yes sleep will continue to decline- that You, sweet little one, are totally and completely worth it. You will bring so much joy into our lives and you're already SO loved by many more.

This photo also reminds me how hard I've worked to prepare to be a Mom the past 9 months. Yes I've indulged and skipped workouts, but I'm REALLY proud of the fact I feel and look great. No stretch marks, swollen hands, or other big pregnancy issues. Yes there are occasional leg cramps, general tiredness some days, and never feeling full...ever. But when I look at this picture I see a strong woman who is lucky to have an amazingly supportive husband to help me get to this place. Matt, I am so excited to be a parent with you.

Keizer Staff Spoiling Baby De.

Look at that belly!

Delicious bundt cupcakes + diaper cake!

My amazing team.

Lisa Rhoades was a beautiful surprise visitor!

Kristi- my amazing "I want to be JUST like her as a Mom" BFF

Keizer Staff- Baby De and I simply cannot express our gratitude enough for the showering of gifts, laughs, and wonderful advice. It's a humbling and blessed feeling to be surrounded by such an incredible group of people. Thank you to each and every one. Your kindness is appreciated more than you know. We can't wait to welcome Baby De soon!

Grieving.

Losing people you love is never an easy reality to cope with. This week we lost a very special woman in our lives. It all started Tuesday after a busy day at school filled with generous coworker's gift at our last Baby Shower. I came home to a delicious dinner made by Matt and as we shared our day- everything felt right in the world.

However that evening his dad called to tell us Grandma Blevins had died, unexpectedly. Shock and disbelief are the only ways to describe how we both felt as tears crashed on our faces. Matt's grandma. Gone. Just like that. So as we sat there holding one another- we cried. We cried for the pain his mom felt as she witnessed it. We cried for holidays we wouldn't spend together. We cried knowing she and Grandpa would never meet their precious great-grandchild of ours. We cried for anger to have her taken away. We cried because we couldn't understand how. We cried.

Death is inevitable. It's my biggest fear- and most of the time it makes no sense. It's such an abstract, raw emotion that each of us deals with so differently. 4 days later I still find myself tearing in up the car thinking about the amazing woman who I am blessed to have known. From the moment I met Grandma Blevins, she radiated love, support, and the most amazing sense of humor. Last night we lost this beautiful woman who filled our lives each and every visit (no matter how long she "let" us stay- ha!) Matt always spoke about his Grandma with such compassion and enthusiasm- I felt honored to be embraced by her each visit. Grandma knew just what stories to tell (usually about Matt's childhood energy!), questions to ask, and how to fill an evening with good company and cocktails. Our hearts break, but there's peace knowing you're with Grandpa now. You will be missed more than you know. We love you Grandma. Cheers to crossword puzzles, morning coffee, and evening cocktails in Heaven together with Grandpa.

\

"Rest" they tell me.

 Behold "Mrs. DeFrancisco's Maternity Binder". This organized, sheet protector, Type A binder is the combined work of my crazy need to have control mixed with some Teachers Pay Teachers resources. Truthfully this beautiful gem only took about 3 hours to prep- which I understand SOUNDS like a lot, but honestly it was so easy to put together. Before I go any further I should say that I am completely realistic that this time may seem overkill for a substitute who (very well) may glance at it once then put it aside. Even if that happens, I created this with my students in mind. I wanted something to help ease the transition between me leaving and a new students coming in.

Baby De isn't slated to arrive for another 4 weeks, however as the saying goes, "Baby do what they want." Including early labor! This Friday I'll be 9 months...let that little nugget of craziness settle in for a moment...36 weeks. So the past 2 weeks I've started that whole 'nesting' feeling...except it's mostly related to school- go figure! My team has (more than once) reminded me to just 'rest' and stop being 'so darn productive!' I just smile and think to myself- this is just who I am. Baby De and I still have lots of energy and although I can't stay awake past 930pm... I'd say I'm actually doing really well!

It's interesting because so many people think I'm just 'faking' being alright- Yeah I get tired, my feet hurt once in awhile, and I need to walk slower - but honestly I feel great. The other "remember Jessica..." conversation I get a lot is about how all no matter how much prepping or planning I do- I need to be okay just letting things go while I'm gone. Duh! Okay so I totally get why people tell me this (see binder picture! ha!) nevertheless I am completely aware of this fact. Many coworkers don't know that I've covered 4 maternity leaves in my career- so I "get" my room isn't going to run like I would run it. And that's awesome! I'll be so busy at home trying to figure out all this parenting stuff for awhile I guarantee I'll be just fine. Will I think about school? Of course- I love my kids and my job. But being a Mom is a million times MORE exciting to me. So thank you kind friends- I will rest...but first I better pack a hospital bag!

Bauman Farms 2017

Maternity Photos = #Feels